Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
