it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
