Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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