So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
