Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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