Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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