i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
