and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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