you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
