do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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