woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My dick has a subreddit
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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