hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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