dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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