I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
