we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
