woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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