This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
