the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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