how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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