hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm passing your future prison.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
