Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
