youre lurking in front of me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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