What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
