If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
