Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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