I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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