Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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