I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
