New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
