So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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