Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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