I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
