it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Two words: blizzard sex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
