I'm drive I can fine osifer
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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