Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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