i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
