Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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