It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
