How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
