Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
