It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
please come you make the beer taste better
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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