No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
my poor anus
dude. I can hear the air.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
