I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
