My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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