I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
