What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
