yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
