OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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