If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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