how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
