Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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