She said her name was "party"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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