No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
