Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
