My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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